So, in a brave state of mind, I've decided to sit down and blog about my fears (well one of them).
So very few people know that I am horribly, terribly, paralyzingly afraid of the dark. I will not walk into a dark room, I will not turn off the light while shutting the door (I will quite literally shut the door on my arm before turning the lights out). I won't sleep in the dark, even with a nightlight, I have to have either a lamp or a dim room light on. I have to have my legs under the covers at all times, there can't be a closet door open, nor curtains or blinds, and once I'm in the bed, that's it, I WILL NOT get back up period.
I guess this comes from years of having strange experiences in the dark and a step-father that really loved horror movies. And at the risk of sounding like a total whack-job, I'll tell about a couple of them:
Once when I was about 8 or 9 years old, I was lying in my bed and all of a sudden the room started growing darker and darker like there was a black cloud growing above my bed. Even with my head under the covers it seemed to just grow darker and darker.
Another time when I was about 13 or 14 I felt (and watched) the entire side of my mattress sink down as if there was someone sitting on it.
Now, at 22, I know that this all seems so silly. I know that there is nothing in the dark that is going to creep out from under my mattress. There is no bogeyman in my closet, and if I look no one is going to be outside my window. But yet, the fear remains. I dread rituals that are outdoors at night, even though I do appreciate the beauty and wonder of such and most of the time will force myself to attend.
So my questions to everyone: Have you ever dealt with an irrational fear like this yourself? How did you cope with it and/or overcome it, and do you have any helpful hints to pass along that may help me?
So very few people know that I am horribly, terribly, paralyzingly afraid of the dark. I will not walk into a dark room, I will not turn off the light while shutting the door (I will quite literally shut the door on my arm before turning the lights out). I won't sleep in the dark, even with a nightlight, I have to have either a lamp or a dim room light on. I have to have my legs under the covers at all times, there can't be a closet door open, nor curtains or blinds, and once I'm in the bed, that's it, I WILL NOT get back up period.
I guess this comes from years of having strange experiences in the dark and a step-father that really loved horror movies. And at the risk of sounding like a total whack-job, I'll tell about a couple of them:
Once when I was about 8 or 9 years old, I was lying in my bed and all of a sudden the room started growing darker and darker like there was a black cloud growing above my bed. Even with my head under the covers it seemed to just grow darker and darker.
Another time when I was about 13 or 14 I felt (and watched) the entire side of my mattress sink down as if there was someone sitting on it.
Now, at 22, I know that this all seems so silly. I know that there is nothing in the dark that is going to creep out from under my mattress. There is no bogeyman in my closet, and if I look no one is going to be outside my window. But yet, the fear remains. I dread rituals that are outdoors at night, even though I do appreciate the beauty and wonder of such and most of the time will force myself to attend.
So my questions to everyone: Have you ever dealt with an irrational fear like this yourself? How did you cope with it and/or overcome it, and do you have any helpful hints to pass along that may help me?
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